T H E W I N G S

My name is Angeline, I was born with a religious family background. I am a normal student in general. In a way, I'm an ordinary woman, neither attractive nor boring. Everything passed without problems.

When I become a freshman, I think it will be more exciting when I have many friends. I have joined many organizations, communities, and groups that suit my interests. I am managing my time for all my responsibilities. Yes, maximizing my opportunities when I was young to explore experiences had become my hope before entering university.

Over time, I, who was active in the organization, was given the trust to hold positions in each organization. At that moment, one of my friends, Tio, was always my partner in carrying out daily activities. Tio is my classmate. He is a crossbreed. His father came from Indonesia and his mother came from England. At first, I didn't have the confidence to be close to him. I'm just a country girl. Inversely proportional to him, he is the son of a director of a state-owned company that has a pecking life.

He often invites me to walk, eat together, to do silly things with him. Because of that, I left everything I was responsible for. This love grows, it makes me blind to everything. I left my first vision and mission. I prefer to be with him. Ignoring the responsibility of the organization, the worse things that did is leaving my responsibility as a student.

2 years passed, now I'm 6th semester. We are in relationship. No more a day if you do not meet overflowing longing. I gave all my time to him. Happy, I got someone special for me. A strange man in my opinion, when I first met and invited to walk. He is embarrassing, likes to sing loudly when on the road and paying the attention of people around. Shame, but funny too haha. We talked about exchanging ideas until he vented about his personal experiences. Starting from there I began to be interested, in the way he talked and told stories. Upon his return, he kept trying to take heart and attention, even tomorrow he asked to meet again. After all that, we are increasingly intense sending messages or chat, even telephone until morning, sometimes overslept, and it can take place every day. The friend I used to have left me now. I don't blame my friend or Tio, I blame my feelings. The strong feeling of love  and this anti-social feeling that grows for some reason. Now I only have Tio.

I had a relationship with him in the campus secretly. The family doesn't know what I'm doing here. I thought, they would not approve if I was dating, moreover, our beliefs were different. But why would I take care of an apple tree if I would never eat an apple? So I ventured to invite him to meet my parents in my village. With hope, I get the blessing of my parents to continue my relationship with Tio.

After not even 1 hour Tio visited, bad words came out of my father's mouth to us. His hands did not hesitate to touch my cheek hardly. My mother could only cry behind the living room door. Nobody is defending me. My father does not agree with our relationship. We have different beliefs, I did not continue my studies and lied to my family.

I prevented my father who was expelling Tio. He did not fight, but he also did not obey my father's orders. He was silent, with tears in his eyes. I want to hug him and give him a defense, but the father's overflowing emotions made me not dare to say, morover to act. In the end, Tio commuted to leave home. He smiled at me and apologized to my father. At home, I was scolded, fooled by my father, he was insulted and insulted, even my father told me to get out of the house and was forbidden to come back again. I was confused,

“Is it wrong that I have a relationship with him?”

“He really bad in dad's preception?”

“What's wrong with that?”

Just because he was had a relationship with me, my father insulted like he have taken something valuable from my family.

After that incident, I never saw him, heard his voice, or talked like before. I was prohibited from returning to campus. Inner blows hit me many times. I lost my friends, my education rights, my future, and a special person to me. I hate God. He created his creativity with differences, full of injustice. The more I worship him, the more he gives me trials. I chose to end my life in my room. The tightness in the neck is no more painful than the inner pressure that I have. Love is like wings to me, can make me fly as high as possible, but can make me die directly if you can not control it.